I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, I can’t help it.I keep hearing about people who are getting sick.Slowly dying and they can’t do anything about it.But like you used to say, we’re all dying. You said I saved you one time, one time too many.That I can’t always help people.It’s just what’s supposed to happen.But it wasn’t supposed to happen like that.You can’t just disappear and hope for the best.Your intentions were all screwed up. And you gave up, just like that. Then you were gone.
We have to take chances; that’s what life’s all about.Your hair was always styled perfectly.Always laughing with our friends.
Everything was perfect, or that’s what she pretended.I don’t know if she ever told anyone else, or if she ever took off that smile.But I can imagine what she’d say if she started talking for a while.She’d lie that she was happy, but her secret I will keep because I know her heart is broken and that she cries herself to sleep.I see the way she looks at him.It’s the way I look at Ryan.I know he promised her the world and then broke her heart in two.She thought he was the one for her and I’m sure that she still would.For him she would do anything because he’s the one she loves.But he never loved her, not like Ryan loves me.He cut her to the core.And now she searches for that feeling.She was much too young for love.Too careless and too free.But I am no different than her with the way I love him.I know I have fallen deeply in love with Ryan even as young as I may be.But my biggest fear and question is, did he ever really love her?With Ryan, I live to see his face.Wake to hear his voice.But see, with her, she lived in fear of heartbreak.She knew that if he left, she wouldn’t just cry.Because every second that he’s gone, a part of her would die.I see the tears behind her eyes.I see my face inside her tears. And I pray with all I’ve got that I’m not her in a few years.
She told me she couldn’t be saved.That she didn’t want to be saved.And now, nothing of her is.She has completely disappeared and she will not return.Memories fade.Especially the ones you don’t want to remember in the first place.
Blood, lust, raw sexual desires, taboo cravings, being venerable those are normally the appeals of a vampire. It is plain and simple a "forbidden" sexual drive that attracts us to vampires weather you want to admit it or not. It excites me and intrigues me, mostly because vampires have always been, and should have always been, dark creatures driven purely by desire and need. They were raw creatures who do what needs to be done to survive. But at the same time refined, regal. Its so hard to explain what a REAL vampire should be, but it's not like this twilight. Every other bumpersticker on facebook i see is some lame quote like "i broke up with my boyfriend because he wasn't a vampire" or something stupid like that. Read the vampire chronicles by Anne Rice. THAT is what a vampire should be, Lestat or Queen of the Damned. Don't tell me you think vampires are sexy or something stupid if your a Twilight fan because that is no vampire book. If anything that is a child's version of a vampire book. Twilight is lame, obsess over a REAL vampire character and then talk to me.
hey darling, I hope you're good tonight and I know you don't feel right when I'm leaving yeah, I want it but no, I don't need it tell me something sweet to get me by if you can, wait until I get home then I swear to you that we can make this last if you can wait until I get home then I swear come tomorrow, this will all be in our past it might be for the best
hey sweetie, I need you here tonight and I know that you don't wanna be leaving yeah, you want it but I can't help it I just feel complete when you're by my side <3
Here I am, but here I won’t stay Don’t mess up Your ego is too big for that And sometimes you don’t get it. When the air is too thick Don’t make me swallow. A clock with seconds Moves slower when you watch And sometimes I wish I would get run over Just enough so I could lay down for a bit. And when it makes you sad Take it in stride And once wake up Where you want to be With no obligations This is dangerous. I know who my critics are The feeling when you know you’re getting sick. What’s the point of asking how are you When the answer is always good That’s not even correct grammar It was different before, I was different before And I hope you’re happy now. Sunny side up just this time Turn the page Sometimes it isn’t best to go on Not like this. It’s not worth it when it hurts Just like plucking eyebrow hair, And why should I shave my legs. Hey, no one is making me but myself. I lost my moment Clapping, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing, Should I say it again? Take me home, Well I drove myself Turn your anger into lust This was no accident And everything can mean nothing When nothing means everything All eyes have corners Circles, squares, lines and bears Can you picture things any other way? Point your fingers anyway you want them, But they will always be yours, Even if you cut them off They belong to you. Don’t ask what I want That answer isn’t coming. Red is not your color But neither is blue Say it, only if you feel it. Now your world is way too fast. Nothing real, nothing lasts. Where to stop is when I begin. I still love the way you feel. I’m not sure I don’t miss the drive You lost, has that ever happened to you Break out fake laughs Awkward moments never last too long. You’re just as passionless as the last guy. While we’re on the subject, Could we change the subject now? There is no fast forward for the poor fool In bed craving the relief of something Don’t understand it, It was never meant to mean anything. Everyone is looking for the future But begging for the past. Over suggestions like the dirt in your nails. Memory is a poor excuse for the present. Do you feel stale yet? Leave your door open. It’s good the world can explode this way. I can’t wait for the day when the people Look like flowers at last. Take it as I’m not so much angry As I am a witness. Although everything feels so heavy I am starting to feel light
I keep my thoughts in a pen of ink, I try to make words rhyme, to express what I think. it difficult at times, it's not easy to find rhymes, when I'm trying to show alot of emotion. I've got good intension. but bad expression. but I don't stop writting until the pen runs dry. I usually find the rythem if I try. but no ink or rhymescan match up to those times. what I really try to say before I run out of ink, is the fact that I miss you deeply. but those words mean nothing, compared to what we think.
you wear your hoodie a lot now a days. & a different belt with your baggy jeans. you don't complain about your weight anymore. but I just never see you eat. I hear the toliet flushing twice in a row. your bathroom visits got longer. your skintone has lost its color. & I see you lost your interest in makeup. your emotions change like a ticking clock. & you always pass up a smiling face. your cell phones always shut off. & you ignore that cry for help. & everytime I try to talk. you say you're not in a "talking mood". & the expressions on your face. say a lot more than you ever do. but it's okay because people make mistakes. & the day your heart stopped. will just be someone elses regret.
You don't know what it's like, so don't say that you do. You say that we're alike but I know it isn't true Don't tell me not to be this way Don't tell me not to cry Don't tell me it will be okay Don't say I need to try Don't tell me that you understand Don't tell me that you care Don't say how immature I am or that life just isn't fair I'm so tired of this life of wishing and praying constantly that I leave this knife & soon they find what's wrong with me I know there's something not right in my head when I never want to leave my bed you don't know what it's like to feel torn apart to feel like someone cut out your beating heart you don't know what it's like to go through everyday trying not to kill yourself, trying not to be this way I'm so sick of all these pills none of them will work on and off so many kinds it's only made me worse don't tell me I'll grow out of this when it's already been six years don't tell me when I cry that I'm not crying real tears don't tell me how or what to think don't tell me how to act or be dont' tell me I'll get through this & don't say that you're here for me because you know as well as me everyone gives up eventually don't tell me I won't fade away don't tell me that I'm wrong don't tell me not to think this way I know I don't belong don't tell me not to be afraid don't tell me to be strong don't tell me that I must be brave I have been all along.
My boyfriend knows that I have cut myself before. He once found one on my arm and got upset, worried about me. I don't blame him, after all, I would feel the same way if I knew he was hurting himself. The other day though he found out from a friend of mine that I had done it again... He said he wasn't mad, but really worried about me. He told me to promise him I wouldn't do it again, to call him if I was thinking about doing it again. I don't want this to change things between us, I wish I could take it back but I can't. I don't want him to hold me but less than he used to. Love me but with a little more caution. Sneak glances at me constantly, wondering what else I'm hiding from him. Wonder who I've become and where the girl he knew had disappeared to. I don't want him to miss me though I am right there with him. I don't want him to say he loves me but question how deep that love really goes. I want to earn his trust back and be the girl he loves. I don't want him to feel like he has to protect me from everything. How do I fix things?
Girl: I want to make an impact on your life. I want to know I've meant something to you. I want to be there for you like no one else can be. I want to be your best friend. I don’t want to mess anything up. I want to be the best person I can be. I've learned not to let people mess with my emotions anymore. Not to let stupid stuff get me down. I would like someone amazing to take the time to get to know me. Really get to know me. I want you to be my best friend. I want you to be there for me, like I would be there for you. I want to know you care, just like I care about you. I want you to make me laugh, just like I want to make you laugh. I want you to make me smile, just like I love to see your smile. I want someone to break down my walls, and get to know me better than I know myself. I want someone to show me something I've never seen before. Take me places I've never been. Show me the world. Surprise me. Excite me. Shock me. Amaze me. Be my everything. This is what I want.
Boy: You are impacting my life. You mean the world to me. I will be here for you always and forever. You are my best friend and nothing can mess that up. You make me the best person i can be. I want to know every detail and thing that has happened in your life. You are my bestfriend. I will be here for you when ever you need me. I care more about you then anything I have every cared about in my life. I love to make you laugh and will continue doing it till I cant any longer. I want you to keep smiling even when life seems tough, and when u feel like you cant, thats the most importent time. I will break your walls till they are not up. I will show you things me and you can't even dream of. I will take you places we have only seen on TV. I will excite,shock,amaze you every day. This is my pledge to you Megan. YOU are eveything I want.
you know that feeling when you're perfectly fine then in one moment your whole body goes numb. you can't make one sound, you can't cry, even if you try to. you lose sight of everything else. you can't see straight, everything just becomes a blur. you feel so cold, you're shaking. you just want to sleep, but you're eyes won't close. when you just want so bad for things to work out. you're heart beats fast and slow at the exact same time. you can't think of anything else, it's just stuck on your mind. when something or someone that has been apart of you for so long just becomes a memory. when you try to think of something else, anything at all to make sense to you. when slit wrists become a scar. when photographs become forgotten images. when perfection is just a dream. when you don't even want to blink, cuz you're scared of losing it all. it's already gone, but maybe its for the best. maybe this was always for the best.
and as hard as you try, you will just never get it.